10.12.2011

good-bye and hello

Talk about a roller coaster ride! This week will be one of the most pivotal weeks in our marriage to date. J-man will be leaving us on Monday and then Baby A will be joining us no later than Friday. Wow. I don't think our hearts could be more bruised and more full at the same time this week.

I find my "self-talk" these days sounding like- "This will be the last time I will get to do X with J", "I wonder if he will ever experience X again", etc. This starts to drive me crazy after awhile! Self-pity starts to settle in and it takes me away from the here and now. So my goal has been to spend these last few days praying with him and for him and finding joy in our every moment together.

I had a sweet conversation with his mom this week that helped to further confirm in my mind and in my heart that his transition home is the right thing. She mentioned that he has started following her around calling out, "Mama! Mama!". Precious. He has not called me "mom" yet and in all actuality I am so thankful that this is the case. Even though we have spent so much time together over the past year, he knows who "mom" is. That is a beautiful thing.

J and A will get to spend one day together before he heads back. God's timing is always perfect. He knows the plans he has for us: for J,  for A, for our family as a whole. Plans to give us a hope and a future. If we know Him better in the end and if He is more glorified, then it's all worth it.