I can't believe that two months have gone by since my sister-in-law's sweet baby, Ben, has left us to be with Jesus. March 27th marked a very, very sad day for our entire family.
Mandy's pregnancy had been progressing smoothly with no known complications. After going into labor she was admitted to the hospital to deliver. While there Ben's heart rate dropped suddenly and then stopped. At that point the medical staff were unable to find a heart beat. This was a shock to everyone, especially considering her smooth pregnancy. The cause? There is no medical explanation for Ben's passing. We are convinced though that God took Ben home. In the midst of intense tragedy, this promise helps pain not be quite as piercing as it might otherwise be.
Even though Ben's life was so short, we know that his life was both sweet and has eternal meaning.
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| Jonny, Mandy, and Ben two days before the hospital |
Bart was able to go to England last month to spend time with Mandy and Jonny. Their time was understandably a roller-coaster ride of emotions, smiles one moment and then a flood of tears the next. There is no short cut through grief, it's a matter of facing it head-on, day-by-day, moment-by-moment. We have to trust that God is still sovereign even with life's events are confusing and gut-wrenching.
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| Mandy sets up some of Ben's special gifts in honor of him for his memorial service. |
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| Jonny and Mandy pose for a quick picture before the service begins. |
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| Bart and Mandy pose in front of the guest table. |
Mandy sent us the book, A Grace Disguised, to help us through our own grieving process. In this book the author shares some very wise words from Nicholas Wolterstorff:
And sometimes, when the cry is intense, there emerges a radiance which elsewhere seldom appears: a glow of courage, of love, of insight, of selflessness, of faith. In that radiance we see best what humanity was meant to be...In the valley of suffering, despair and bitterness are brewed. But there also character is made. The valley of suffering is the vale of soul-making.
Times like these certainly remind us of our humanity.- how fragile life is and how we are never promised tomorrow. In the midst of that though we are also reminded of God's sovereignty over everything here on earth. Our life finds eternal meaning only in Him.
Below is Mandy's prayer at the funeral just before Ben's body was lowered into the grave. It brings tears to my eyes to think of Ben and to think of her.
Heavenly Father,
You are good and you do good. Every good and perfect gift
comes from you including our darling son Benjamin Hudson. We are so thankful, more
than words can ever express, for the sheer joy and great privilege and gift of sharing his
short earthly life. Thank you. You know that any length of time with him here would never have
been enough and now we are counting down the days until we can be with you and him forever,
never ever being parted again. We have come to realize that we aren't really mourning the
fact that he's not here with us, in this beautiful but broken world. We truly wouldn't bring him
back if we could. Rather, we deeply grieve the fact that we must pass the rest of our days
here without him, wishing instead to be there with you and him in a perfect and painless world
now. Please give us the courage and strength to live out all of our days in such a way as to
always honor you, just as we were so looking forward to teaching Ben to do, until we are all
together again. He will not return to us, but we will come to him. This darling little sweetheart
is our treasure. You entrusted him to us for nine months and enabled us to recognize and enjoy
his priceless worth every single day. Thank you for that. Because you first trusted him to us,
we are now able to entrust him back to you to guard perfectly forever, as we endeavored to do in
his time with us. And so we pray...
Dearest Father,
Just as you did not withhold your own precious Son, but
lovingly and sacrificially gave him up for us all, we now dedicate our precious treasure,
Benjamin Hudson Vaughan, to you, in the sure knowledge of the hope that Easter brings – that
is, the truth that a life invested with you is eternally safe and also yields an unspeakable
return. Please keep us as safe and sure of your perfect love and care as Ben is now.In the name of your perfect Son, our precious Savior
Jesus Christ, Amen.
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| Mandy places a hydrangea on Ben's grave from his cousin, Chickee. |
John 12:23-26. "Jesus replied, 'The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.' "
Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so.
We love you, Baby Ben.
